Why men cheat
28 July 2020 Estimated time: ~2 min.
Gone are the days when your partner, after an infidelity, overwhelmed you with flowers and cheesy apologies. Nowadays, the picture of betrayal in love has much more subtle touches ...
What today’s psychologists have discovered is that, compared to long ago, the feeling of guilt has completely faded or disappeared in case of betrayal of love. Independence is a virtue, happiness is the main goal, orgasm is mandatory, and the collateral victims of our emotional prosperity are acceptable. This is the case with both women and men who seek spiritual and sexual fulfillment in foreign beds, but as we are talking about men now, we will focus on them.
Today’s men openly reject a much too short leash, seen as a threat to their masculinity, so they consider as being ok sweet conversations with office colleagues, flirty messaging, kiss emoticons or travel business that sometimes lead to much too „relaxed“ evening parties. And from here to unequivocal betrayal is sometimes only a step. How can you avoid temptation without isolating yourself from society and teambuilding trips? This is the great challenge of the modern man.
Categories of "traitors"
These four sociological profiles of cheaters have remained somewhat the same in time, regardless of eras and morals:
- „I’m cheating on you because I’m unhappy“ is the most common type. No one gets tired of a good relationship to look for happiness elsewhere, they just thrive for what’s missing at home: affection, quality sex, understanding, moral support.
- „I cheated you because you cheated me“ is the excuse of the man who cheates out of revenge or insecurity. Sometimes she doesn’t even betray him, but that’s what he thinks, and then he decides that the best defense is the attack.
- „I cheated you because I am a man“, and men are born hunters, consider the exponents of this category. For them, sleeping with women other than their long term partners is a form of personal validation.
- „I cheated you because I love you“ is a bizarre typology that includes men who believe that a couple is strengthened and sex life improved by small escapades that spice up their sex life. Sometimes, that’s true. Until their partners find out and the sandcastle collapses...
Open your eyes wide if you notice the following beaviours:
- He comes home later often, without plausible explanations
- He suddenly ends a phone call when you enter the room
- He freaks out or, on the contrary, builds elaborate scenarios when you simply ask him where he is going
The culprit in the mirror
A necessary exercise is also looking in the mirror. „What did I do to deserve this?“ should not be just a rhetorical cry, but an exercise, perhaps painful, of self-analysis: do I still love him or does the situation hurt me out of ego? Did I do my best to keep the love alive? Depending on the answers, the blame must be shared honestly. And, if we admit that we also contributed, at least with a fine touch, to the portrait of the man who cheated on us, the chances of repairing the current relationship or of laying a more solid foundation for a future relationship will all be on our side.